These questions aren't meant to be answered. This is just supposed to reflect how I feel.
If anything's possible,
why can't I regain my strength?
If the sun's coming out tomorrow,
why can't I stop this rain?
If there's a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow,
why is my pot not full?
If there's a light at the end of the tunnel,
why is my tunnel so dull?
If we live each day like our last,
why are we untrue?
If everything's within reach,
why can't I get a hold of you?
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
I like the questions. I get how you're feeling through them. You're talking about depression and how you can't get your special someone, right? I like the part about the rain and the one about the rainbow with the pot of gold at the end.
-Crescent
I like the idea.
Like the others said, though, it's a bit too simplistic. I would also work on the overall rhythm of the piece: some lines, for example the last two, don't flow very well when you read them.
Thoughtful questions, though.
This is really good!
It's very simple and straightforward, but sometimes that's just what a poem needs. Good work, keep writing!
If it was longer I would have found the questions nausiating, but I didn't think it was so bad. That last line got me; it was sweet, but in a really sad way.
I quite like the way you've written this, it's really simple, I think that's what gives it that little charm.
As you probably guessed by from the previous reviews, lots of questions is not really a good style to pursue, but on it's own, I quite liked this piece
You should concentrate on showing this through different ways, not just asking rhetorical question after rhetorical question as this can just drag on and on... and due to the theme that this poem is going on, it can pretty much DEPRESS the reader! D:
But... still, nice message and keep on writing.
It's obvious that you've got a creative spark
The questions were practically over kill, Sorry. There are many other ways to express these emotions without the questioning. like, It's said that there seems to be a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, if only I knew how it was it, instead of , how it seemed. Or something like that, you know what I mean? (PM me if you don't).
And the last line, why can't I get a hold of you, that seemed to just come out of the blue. You may want to work that more into the poem.
Also, you may want to add some imagry and things of the sort. Something for us to see, rather than listen to. =p
Good luck, keep writing.
Silented1.
I really like the feel you get and when i read very queation they repeat in my head. Please keep writing!!!